i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
