He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
