It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
