Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
