Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize