i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
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