He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
