I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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