I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
