Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize