jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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