i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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