My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
