I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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