Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
