No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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