Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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