Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
