Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
