kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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