her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
