I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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