laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
