the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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