I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
