ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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