weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
