love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
