so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Randomize
