Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
