Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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