Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
