please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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