Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
