Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
