Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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