I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
