So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
