The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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