Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him

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  (407): he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him http://tfl.nu/igzq
  Replies (36) Good night (958) Bad night (6080)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.

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  (973): Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day. http://tfl.nu/sevp
  Replies (58) Good night (9608) Bad night (1165)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels

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  (330): i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels http://tfl.nu/84kp
  Replies (16) Good night (1334) Bad night (5480)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.

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  (508): my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together. http://tfl.nu/95cx
  Replies (17) Good night (5119) Bad night (1331)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?

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  (563): If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from? http://tfl.nu/xs7j
  Replies (7) Good night (1911) Bad night (3326)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.

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  (845): Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there. http://tfl.nu/s3qt
  Replies (22) Good night (4095) Bad night (1059)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.

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  (412): i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad. http://tfl.nu/1j3o
  Replies (3) Good night (3458) Bad night (1199)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street

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  (954): You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street http://tfl.nu/crjb
  Replies (2) Good night (1159) Bad night (501)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.

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  (610): Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life. http://tfl.nu/zjcc
  Replies (5) Good night (1507) Bad night (514)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it

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  (480): You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it http://tfl.nu/17sa
  Replies (3) Good night (884) Bad night (420)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It's hard to explain...

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  (330): We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar. (330): It's hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/5wi2
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (402)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.

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  (773): Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no. http://tfl.nu/59ld
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (329)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.

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  (724): I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit. http://tfl.nu/wpu6
  Replies (6) Good night (771) Bad night (291)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?

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  (989): Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/3xdi
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.

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  (845): My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians. http://tfl.nu/rtv1
  Replies (2) Good night (335) Bad night (98)

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