when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
