Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
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They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
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him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.