you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.