so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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