first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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