If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize