I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
