mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize