that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
