Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
