she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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