Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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