she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
