omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
