it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
