Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
