The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize