Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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