i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize