I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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