Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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