sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
