despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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