the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
