I cannot find my penis.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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