It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he thought i was a dude.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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