Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
