your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
