We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
