just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
