You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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